these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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