considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
