Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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