Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where is the hickey?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
