My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
