I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize