I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
