she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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