Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
nutella sex= disaster
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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