I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
