she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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