Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
