on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
