Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
