she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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