if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
