Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
