This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
