help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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