guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is wine microwaveable?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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