Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
