The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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