I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
