it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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