You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
