That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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