Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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