Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
