Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
