what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I party with great urgency now.
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