Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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