I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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