I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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