drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
