it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
