If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
