Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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