I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so let's talk penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
