I love black thongs
I hate all girls vehemently.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
