i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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