I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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