dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
