Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
