I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
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