You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have tasted many bathrooms
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize