I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
