as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
