these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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