i permit you to call me
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize