There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
