how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
