omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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