i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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