I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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