I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
