I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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