We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
