I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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